Well after looking and looking at stuff that wasn't suitable for a flea- I found a house!!! YEAH!!
Again gotta relate purchasing a home to a relationship-- (since I had one deal fall thru realized it can be so much the same)
Made me think a lot when I had my first housing deal fall thru because the owner and I couldn't agree on the terms of the contract- she wanted more money than I was willing to part with-- it was kind of like the way I felt when a certain relationship recently went bust...
You get all excited thinking you've found "THE ONE" the man you want to spend the rest of your life with- you can see your future together, raising a family (his exisiting kids and anymore that might come along) sharing a home, responsibilities...etc. Things seem to be great at first- then suddenly you start getting a queasy feeling about it... his behavior and manners change- then he drops the bomb- "you want more than he's willing to give..."
Man the emotional roller coaster is so much the same...You find the perfect house- you get your hopes all up- start planning where you're going to put things -how you'll decorate, who gets what room-etc. You really put your heart into this house/condo-etc. Then comes time to turn in a contract... you put in writing what you're willing to give and what you expect in return... give it to the seller and wait-- *at least there's a time limit on this waiting* sometimes they come back w/a counter offer... maybe requesting more from you or offering to give less from them- in that case, you review the contract to see if you can accept it- you then have the chance to request changes too- HOWEVER, if you do this- you run the risk of loosing the deal all together- someone else has the option to come in and offer the 'seller' something more than you're offering or requiring less from the seller... you have to decide to take the deal or walk away from it. Then you can also get a flat refusal from the seller- which comes as a harsh blow but it happens...
So, you've got all this emotion and anxiety tied up in waiting to get a reply... how is that any different from what happens in a relationship?? OK OK you don't usually have things in writing -- "I'll give this but I want that", etc. But you do have expectations and 'desires'.... right?? Most of us talk about our wants and needs w/our partners, so it's out in the open. But you can still get counter offers and refusals... how many have heard- "You want more than I can give"?? or said "I'm just not getting what I need from you"?? Same concept as that contract issue... do you try to work it out- require less of your partner, put more effort into the relationship yourself?? Or do you walk away?? If the deal (relationship) is important to you, you try to work it out, right?? Compromise!!!
However if it can't be compromised and agreed upon by BOTH parties, then can come the refusual... and it's not easy. Usually it hurts one party more than the other but someone winds up getting hurt- just like I got upset when I didn't get the first house I wanted... however I got over it and found the perfect match for me- a great little home!! SO that's key- picking up the pieces and moving forward, not giving up- works in either situation!!
So yes once again I can interchange home buying and searching for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with... strange analogies but works, huh??
Ok I know I get rambly and go on in some of these but gotta go w/the flow when the ideas come-
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