Houses and Relationships pt 1 Sept 2006

Houses and Relationships... (Warning: THIS IS LONG)

Ok, I've recently found myself in the position to pursue the purchase of my first home-- and while I've looked at EVERY FREAKING Real Estate site I can find locally- I got to thinking-- how is buying real estate much different than looking for the perfect match???

It's NOT!!!

Here's how I see it... When you start looking for a house you-- decide on an ideal location, right?? Then you set a budget- how much do you want to invest, maybe a particular style of home, etc.  Then you start looking around- maybe get a realtor- look in the paper or one of those homes magazines- hit some websites or maybe cruise the neighborhood you are interested in. 

THEN-you arrange an initial showing-
Sometimes you know when you first set foot in the structure... something ain't right- maybe you just get an uneasy feeling or maybe the roof is falling in- what ever you know IMMEDIATLY it's not for you- might be perfect for someone else, but not for you. 

Then sometimes you go in- kind of like what you see- but just want to see more before you decide... so you shop around a little, decide you still like the first house- and come back for a second, third or more showing-- and if you're really lucky it's still on the market when you make up your mind. 

 Of course there is the rare occasion that when you pull into the driveway you just KNOW THIS is the house for you... the paint is the perfect color, it's got great space and the lighting- wow! And all the great appliances stay!! You're just SURE this is the one, the perfect place for you...

Sometimes it might take a while to even find the first house you're interested in, but eventually you do and when you've made up your mind, you work out the finances... (sometimes if you're smart you do this first) but as you start to negotiate price you start to get nervous- what if the loan doesn't go thru, what if I can't make the payment?? All sorts of things go thru your head.... until the day the mortgage broker calls and sets up your closing- then you make everything official and it's yours... forever- or until the next house catches your eye...

now of course even the PERFECT house can have some defects that you won't see until you've lived there a while- and that may cause you to sell and start this whole process over- sometimes it's an ongoing thing- sad, but true!

OK HOW DOES THIS RELATE TO RELATIONSHIPS???? Think about it....

What do you do when you're in the 'market' to meet someone new???

First of all, you decide you're ready to meet someone- then most of us have a 'list' of standards- height, hair color, eye color, religion....etc. Then you decide how much you want to invest in this venture... time, money, effort (starting to see the similarities yet???) Next you have to start looking around- you either pick someone you know already or try the internet thing- or of all evils go on the blind date, maybe hit the clubs or start going to a new church- what ever you are most comfortable with.  THEN....

when you've met someone you think you're interested in and would like to know better- you-- go on an 'initial showing...' that first date- the one that brings both excitement and fear. This first date can be well, just like the showing of those houses...

There's the immediate-- Uh NO!! Response, we've all had it happen- there's no chemistry or you discover something really creepy about the other person or you just get that uneasy feeling- right??? Again might be perfect for your friend Billy Bob Bubba/or Sally Mae June-- but not the one for you. 

Then there's 'friends first'... you kind of like the other person- but aren't sure, you want to shop around (date other people) so you can decide. Then you realize this is the one you want to spend time with...so you make another date, and an other-  and if you're lucky- they'll still be available and want you too... when you finally make up your mind...

There's also those sickening rare occasions where you meet someone and BAM!!!!! You see stars and they do too (and not because you bumped heads reaching for your napkin that fell out of your lap at the table). Everything just clicks!! You get each other- plain and simple!!

Again it might take some time to find that 'perfect' person- but when you do eventually you want to make it official/settle down/stop seeing other people- what ever it is you do... then comes nerves and worry-- will he still love me if I gain 10 lbs? what if I can't keep her happy... ? The questions and the doubt... "what if she says NO".... and until that other person reassures you- you're a mess...

When all is said and done, some folks will move in together- some will get married and some will just keep dating forever!! But like with the house- there may be problems that arise after the 'merger'.  These can be annoying habits or just plain loosing interest in each other- causing the whole cycle to start over...

OK YEA I KNOW, this is long- but I had the thought so I went with it... and see, buying a house and finding that special someone very much alike-- now, aren't they????